Gobble Gobble, People . . .

Posted on 24. Nov, 2009 by in Uncategorized

Since Thursday is the end all, be all of national holidays, the world seems to be slacking off in their creative efforts – – and are going to the tried and true gimmick of incorporating Thanksgiving related stories into their blog posts, TV shows and articles.

Taking to heart the old “if you can’t beat them, join them” motto, I figured this would be a good opportunity to write a post on the foundation of the holiday, broken down simply to the three f’s – – food, football and family.

Well, come to think about it, I think it best for me to stay away from the football talk, considering my Jets are pretty much done for the year and I’m quite upset about it.   And, I guess I should also avoid the whole family issue, considering that we all know what happens when we get together with family over the holidays, as seen below:

So, that leaves food, namely the Thanksgiving meal itself.

There’s nothing like sitting down and enjoying a finely prepared meal.  But what makes a culinary masterpiece even more enjoyable is good company.

Someone recently asked me, “Nick, which four celebrities would you want to break bread with the most on Thanksgiving?”  I leaned back in my chair and stroked my beardless chin with wonderment.  “Hmm, who would make for engaging and appealing celebrity Thanksgiving guests?”

Well, after much deliberation, I’ve determined my Fab Four, hailing from the worlds of movies, music and politics.  Let me know what you think:

Throwing up the six-shooters, baby.

Throwing up the six-shooters, baby.

1) Tom Cruise. Call him insane, call him batty. But, I for one want him at my Thanksgiving table.  Why?  Do I want to figure out if I’m in touch with my inner thetan?  Do I want him jumping up and down on my couch, fist-pumping and crouching like a crazy man?

Not really.  Besides, I think my mom would throw him out on his butt before he got too out of hand.

Nevertheless, I’d have Cruise over because he is one of the few movie producers and actors that can rake in box office returns in the billions.  His talent is undeniable.  And add in the fact that he also starred in three of my favorite films – – Top Gun, Mission Impossible III and The Color of Money – – makes for interesting conversation topics in my opinion.

And since I’m on the topic of Tom Cruise, here’s my two cents: Tom Cruise is not crazy.  He’s zealous, perhaps over-zealous about this religion, one he’s believes has the answers to all of our problems.  Maybe he isn’t presenting things in the right way, but you can’t fault his intent: he wants to help people better themselves.  And I for one find that kind of selflessness refreshing and laudable – – and worthy of a spot at my table.

I don't even want to know what's going on here.

I don't even want to know what's going on here.

2) George Lucas. Unlike other geeks, I can have him for Thanksgiving and not bring up Star Wars at all (well, maybe I’ll throw him a question about the whole midichlorians debacle, but that’s about it).

Besides the fact that he created the most feared character in all of film for the greatest movie franchise of all time, Lucas re-created the art of film making by developing the revolutionary creative houses in Skywalker Sound and Industrial Light and Magic.

If it was not for George Lucas, there would be no WETA, Pixar and Dreamworks – – at least not in its current form.  So there’s also that to talk about.  And I’ll show him the above picture and ask: “What were you thinking?”

They don't call him the Boss for nothing, folks.

They don't call him the Boss for nothing, folks.

3) Bruce Springsteen. We’re both born on September 23rd, albeit 31 years apart.  We’re both highly creative people, the few artistic geniuses of our time. (I think I sprained my arm patting myself on the back just now.)  And most of all, having the Boss come to Thanksgiving dinner would afford me the opportunity to bust out my guitar and fumble through my rendition of “Thunder Road.

Best case scenario: He’d take the guitar from me and say, “Son, let me show you how it’s done,” and blow all of us away with the greatest acoustic set ever known to man.

Or he could simply just run around my apartment, sliding up and down the hallway for the entire night.

And last but certainly not least . . .

Turn that frown upside down, Mr. President.  You're coming to dinner!

Turn that frown upside down, Mr. President. You're coming to dinner!

4) Bill Clinton. He’s a musical maestro. He’s a ladies man. And he is a member of the most exclusive club in the world – – former Presidents of the United States of America.

But, people have said that he can make anyone feel important, no matter what their station in life.  That kind of charm and swagger is something I need to see in action first hand.

And maybe he’ll play sax for Bruce when he breaks into “Tenth Avenue Freeze Out“:

There’s also another, more subtlety drawn common thread amongst these dream guests: they can all carry a conversation, giving me a chance to acquiesce and delegate the hosting responsibilities amongst my visitors. And they are very opinionated in their beliefs about life and their place in their respective arenas.

Of course, this is nothing more than conjecture, but it beats writing about Michelle Obama’s favorite Thanksgiving recipe.  The horror, the horror.


I would be remiss if I didn’t expand my guest list by one . . .

Oh yeah!  SALSA!

Oh yeah! SALSA!

5) Katie Couric. She’s a Today Show alum and the current CBS Evening News Anchor.  She even matched wits with Sarah Palin not too long ago, though that’s not saying much.  But, I wouldn’t invite her because of that.

Her raspy voice and dance skills are reason enough.  Saying she’s saucy would do a disservice to saucy people.

GRR, Katie.  VERY GRR!!!

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