And Now for Something Completely Different . . .

Posted on 04. Nov, 2009 by in Uncategorized

For my op-ed column this week, as the title implies, I chose to write something a bit . . . different.  This is not the usual cut and dry “The war in Afghanistan is bad” or  “Obama is the next Jimmy Carter” blog post – – I figured I’d leave that to the more qualified op-ed writers out in the blogging stratosphere for once.

Some might classify this post as my “going over the deep end.”  I, however, call it a homage to Monty Python’s Flying Circus, South Park and the many other comedic influences in my life.

Ultimately, I post what follows for a solitary reason: to amuse my fellow Beinart-led op-eders.  So, I hope that this post accomplishes its mission.

Basically this is the main theme of my entry:

What if Hollywood chose to remake successful franchises using the unimaginable stories dominating the news over the past few months? What would they look like?

And here it goes (in my best movie trailer announcer voice):

In a world where the boundaries of art, politics and creative expression often blur into a colorful cultural statement . . .

From the creative mind that brought you Sightings – A Photo Retrospective comes . . .

hollywood-sign-los-angeles-cahd6

HOLLYWOOD REMAKES RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES!!

A small-time reality TV journeyman needs to make money fast . . . but how? MAGIC.   After he captivates the nation, with fame and fortune within his grasp . . .

His deception is revealed.

As his world crumbles around him, he creates more elaborate illusions to dazzle the masses.  But, it is too little too late.

Will his frantic journey between the worlds of fantasy and reality cost him what he values most – – his freedom?

Richard and Falcon Heene star in  . . .

Now you see him . . . now you don't.

Now you see him . . . now you don't.

A determined group of heavily armed terrorists, enraged over the H1N1 vaccine shortage, storm United HealthGroup’s main headquarters in Minnesota and hold their board of trustees hostage.  Their one and only demand . . . a government sponsored health care system.  Fearing for the lives of the hostages, the government prepares to bend to the will of their captors.

Trained, fierce and focused, this band of rogues show unwavering resolve. But, there’s one wild card they didn’t plan for . . . A right wing loose cannon with a sharp tongue.

Rep. Joe Wilson plays himself in . . .

Yippee Ki Yay . . . well, you know the rest.

Yippee Ki Yay . . . well, you know the rest.

In a world where romance and politics clash like swords on a battlefield . . . Mark Sanford is a southern governor with everything to live for: the dream job, a beautiful family and the admiration of his peers.

Then he met María Belén Chapur . . .

From the steps of the governor’s mansion in South Carolina to the narrow streets of Buenos Aires . . .

Intrigue, mystery and drama abound when Paramount Pictures presents . . .

The heart wants what the heart gets . . . or something like that.

The heart wants what the heart gets . . . or something like that.

And . . .

It's over.  Move along.

Fun's over. Get back to work on your capstone.

UPDATE: THE YANKEES ARE WORLD CHAMPIONS FOR THE 27TH TIME!!! MATSUI IS MVP!!!

RECOGNIZE!!!

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